I guess I may never know this side of eternity, but trying to cope with another loss is more than I can handle in my own strength. We received a phone call this past Sat. in the wee hours of the morning that my mother-in-law (Mom) had been rushed to the hospital. From what we know at this time she apparently didn't feel well and then all of a sudden collapsed. She wasn't breathing, 911 was called, CPR was performed along this defibrillator to shock her heart back. Arrived at the hospital with blood pressure continuing to drop, no means of medication was helping. She was put on a machine that breathed for her keeping her alive, but Mom was already gone even though some may disagree. Her body was stabilized allowing the medical staff to get a cat scan desperately trying to find out what was wrong. Cat Scan showed that she had multiple broken ribs on her left side, collapsed lung along with some internal bleeding. No outward signs of any kind of trauma. For any of you who know me, it will be only three years this October that my father-in-law passed away due to complications from his tragic accident. Mom had only been moved back to OK to try to move on with her life about a year and a half ago.
We knew that my DH needed to get out there as quickly as possible, so we bit the bullet and got him on the next flight out. Within 10 minutes of his arrival to the hospital her heart rate went from 80 to 0. They tried to save her but even if they had been able to they would have only been saving her body. The doctor's even told my husband that they weren't doing her any good because she had had no brain activity at all since her admittance. Mom was gone!! Even as I write this I can't portray in words the pain I numbness and pain that I feel. Not withstanding how my husband is coping seeing as I haven't been able to be by his side as of yet. I will be flying out first thing in the morning by the blessing given from my church in the form of a plane ticket. Please pray for me and my family as the this is going to a very long hard road of grievance and recovery. We still don't know a cause to her death but through a medical autopsy that was performed today hopefully all those questions will soon be answered. I miss her sooo much and can't grasp the fact that she is really gone. It feels like I am in a horrible dream and just need to WAKE UP!!!
